More than a Feeling
by Phanael
Summary: Touda witnesses a fight between Hisoka and Tsuzuki and it really makes him think about Tsuzuki. Very mild implied slash. K. Please review!


_Author's Notes:_ My first Yami No Matsuei story.

I really love the Manga and the Anime! And I like Touda a lot… So I thought – as there are so few stories about him – I should write a story about his relationship with Tsuzuki. And no! This is no real pairing to me (Not in this fic…)!

The title is chosen because I hear this song all the time lately (because I found a Scrubs episode featuring that song. And the Janitor play air guitar quite well 'giggles')

_Disclamer:_ Not mine…!

_Rating:_ K+ (Nothing too bad)

**More than a Feeling**

Touda sat back in his chair at Tsuzuki's kitchen table while listening to Tsuzuki fighting with Hisoka. It was always the same: Hisoka complained about Tuszuki being childish and irresponsible. And as always Tsuzuki would smile at the boy, nod and say that everything was alright.

When it was not.

And Touda knew. He hated, when Hisoka yelled at Tsuzuki. The Fire Snake wanted to get up and crush the fragile body of the boy against the wall, so that he would never yell at his master again. What did he think who he was? Tsuzuki was an old Shinigami, experienced and he had already suffered so much in his life, his existence that it simply wasn't right that Hisoka yelled at him for such reasons. Did he even knew Tsuzuki?

The man blamed himself for so many things, he blamed himself for his own existence and that young boy, this young Shinigami had the guts to tell him he was childish and irresponsible? What did he actually know? Touda was sure that Tsuzuki hadn't told him everything about his past and about his suffering. If he had the boy wouldn't say such things. He wouldn't yell at all.

Most likely he would leave Tsuzuki and never want to see him again. The shinigami's past was strange, dark and even appalling. Most people would turn their back on poor Tsuzuki and abandon him like so many did before…

Too often Touda had dealt with a sad Tsuzuki. Too often had he seen the man lying on the floor of his little flat, crying, not able to get up, the burden of his life so heavy on his shoulders. Too often had he seen him crying, not knowing what to do.

But Tsuzuki was such a good person. Such a loving and caring creature. How dare Hisoka yelling at him like that? Touda simply didn't understand. It was such an absurd thing to do.

"You always think about your sweets! Is this all that's in your head? All you can think about? You always want more sweets and that's all that counts for you. Tsuzuki, you need to WORK, for God's sake! You're such a lazy fellow…" Touda shook his head. Tsuzuki WAS focused on sweets, how right the boy was. But he didn't forget everything about them. They merely were a way to make his bitter life sweeter.

"Tsuzuki, you never care what happens to Tatsumi, to me or all the others all you care about his how you can make your day shorter and work less than all of us.", Touda gasped. Tsuzuki not thinking about others? That was all he could think about and Touda knew. He cared so deeply for the boy and Hisoka didn't even notice how much. Tatsumi was another thing. Tsuzuki loved him. He really did, but he was also afraid. The man was another dark chapter of Tsuzuki's life. But nevertheless the shinigami cared. And for Watari as well. His friends were so precious to him…

But Hisoka didn't stop. He seemed really angry and pissed off. "Selfish bastard!", he screamed in Tsuzuki's face and the expression on his master's face nearly broke his cold heart. He got up from his seat and walked over to the boy.

Hisoka stopped when he saw the huge man walk towards him. Touda leaned down to look right into his green eyes, the visor barely hiding his glowing eyes, their noses nearly touching.

"How dare you, Hisoka?", he whispered in a threatening voice. "What do you know, silly boy?" He was angry and he let Hisoka feel it. The boy gulped and took a step back, his back hitting the wall.

"I…He…", Hisoka stammered, pointing a finger at Tsuzuki.

Touda felt Tsuzuki's hand on his shoulder, the shinigami trying to calm him. "Touda, please…" It would have been a harsh gesture to simply brush his hand away so Touda ignored it and looked straight into the boy's eyes.

"You know nothing! So shut up and don't judge him. You understand me? Leave his house. NOW!" The last word was shouted at the youth's face and he turned and ran away. Touda straightened himself, knowing that Tsuzuki would be upset or even mad about his behaviour. But he just couldn't help it. He couldn't stand the thought of the boy hurting Tsuzuki so much… Slowly Touda turned around, facing Tsuzuki, looking straight into his deep, violet eyes. He knew that look so well: large eyes staring at him, pleadingly. And Touda hated to see his master like that.

Tsuzuki had freed him from his prison, he had cut his hair – Tsuzuki was the only person Touda would let near him – , he had tamed the mighty Suzaku, Genbou and himself, Touda… but still Tsuzuki wasn't as strong as he seemed to be.

"Why did you do that, Touda? I hate when he's upset."

"And I hate to see you upset.", Touda simply said. Tsuzuki's eyes filled with tears. He seemed so sad and tired.

"He's right.", Tsuzuki whispered. He blamed himself… like he so often did when he had done nothing wrong. "I… I shouldn't even exist and for that I should try to be as helpful as possible, I should be meaningful. But I'm not…My life is meaningless…I AM meaningless"

Touda reached out his hands, grabbed the sides of Tsuzukis head and pulled him close to his face. Tsuzuki knew this gesture but he was always surprised, when Touda leaned down and kissed his forehead, right between his eyes.

"No… You are not meaningless. You gave a mening to my own pitiful life!", Touda whispered. And like so often Tsuzuki felt better.

* * *

**Please review!!!**

And please tell me about my mistakes...


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